Saturday, October 6, 2012

D Day has arrived

October 6, 2012

Well today is the BIG day.  The 2nd biggest day of my entire life.  I never thought this day would come and to be honest it still hasn’t sunk in.  I should be sleeping right now but I am just too full of emotions to sleep.  Tomorrow at noon J and I are going to Banner Desert Hospital to have this baby! 

These last 9 months have been a miracle to me.  I have loved every second, every kick, every roll, every second of this pregnancy.  I love my bump too and am really going to miss it.  I am so overcome by gratitude that words can not adequately express ½ of what I am feeling.

I have dreamed of being a mother, of being pregnant, and of holding my baby since I was a child myself.  Now to be experiencing this with my very best friend and love of my life, it seems too good to be true.  Why do I deserve all of my dreams coming true?  I never want to take any of this for granted.  I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for ALL that he has given me.  Especially my husband J and our son.  Oh my GOSH … MY SON…how fun is that to say? 

I am so grateful to my sisters and friends that have shared their own children with me over the years.  I have learned so much from your examples and I hope I can be ½ the mothers you are. 

I can’t begin to imagine what life will be like after our son is here.  I know that we are going to have more joy and love than ever before!  I am dying to see J hold and love our little boy, it is going to melt my heart.  I can’t wait to see what our little boy is going to look like!  Will he look like his Daddy?  I sure hope so!  I hope he has his Daddy’s good heart, gentle nature, talent, and good looks.
I am going to miss feeling the movement of our baby and I will miss having him with me all the time so close to my heart.  But now I get to look forward to holding him in my arms, kissing his cheeks, rocking him to sleep, singing him songs, reading him books, and helping him grow into a man.  I couldn’t be more excited. 

I am so blessed to be given this opportunity to carry my baby and have a child of my own.  I will never take it for granted.  My heart breaks for those I know and love that do not have this opportunity.  I always wondered if I would too and I know the pain and heart ache it brings.  I thank Heavenly Father daily for this experience. 

Now if I can just survive the labor and delivery.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit terrified.  With some of the unknowns in my case I just get nervous.  I am scared of the dumb IV and I want to make sure we get all the antibiotics in before the baby comes and I didn’t want to be induced.  I was really hoping he would come on his own!  But I am also so thrilled he didn’t come early.  I am also nervous about the septum.  Will it tear, will it need to be repaired?  Will I need surgery?  The truth is I’ve made it this far, why worry about those things now?  It does no good.  I will get my priesthood blessing and the Lord will take care of it all.

I know I have the best support system anyone could ever ask for.  My husband, family, and friends are everything to me and have been with me through it all.  I can’t wait to introduce everyone to our newest addition.  When will he come?  Will it be Sat the 6th or Sun the 7th?  Please don’t make it Monday the 8th J  How big/small will he be?  Will he have hair?  Will he be a good eater?  I can’t wait to kiss him and welcome him to this world. 

How far along? 40/41 weeks
Total weight gain: 22-24 lbs
Maternity clothes?  Love them, but some are getting snug J
Sleep: Well it is 2 am right now…but I sleep ok from about 4 or 5 am to about 10 am usually with just a few breaks for the bathroom and to kiss Justin goodbye for work.
Best moment this week:  Finishing the nursery TONIGHT (oct 5)
Miss Anything?  I miss nothing at this point.  I know I will miss so many things about being pregnant very soon!  I don’t want to take a thing for granted!
  Lots of movement still.  It is wonderful.  This week I have had a lot more of the shooting/shocking pain that sometimes makes me gasp and scares J! 
Food cravings:  nothing ever sounds yummy until I see J eating it.  Then I want it and always eat some of his.  Still drinking lots of chocolate milk, water gives me heartburn.
Anything making you queasy or sick:  nope
Gender:  Let’s hear it for the BOY!
Labor Signs:  I have some contractions but am still 2.5 by 2.5 and the baby hasn’t come down any.  We are hoping that with a few strong contractions they will push Baby D down. 
Belly Button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off?  On
Happy or Moody most of the time:  Ecstatic!!!  All my dreams are coming true!  I got a little tense at the end with so many emotions and feelings. I also really wanted the house clean…but we finished the nursery tonight and it is more than I could’ve dreamed.  It is gorgeous!
Looking forward to: Holding our little boy and seeing Justin hold our son.  I honestly can hardly stand this anticipation!
To do list:  HAVE OUR BABY! J                           
Misc.:  It just doesn’t seem real that this is going to happen.  I can’t believe I am being induced and that he didn’t come on his own.  I can’t believe that in a matter of hours I will be a mother, J a father, and we will be able to hold our little guy.  I hope I am kind enough to share him with others!  But I’ve waited my ENTIRE life to hold this angel and I may not be able to give him up! 

This week Angie told me that Baby D wasn’t coming yet because he was having a hard time saying goodbye to everyone in heaven.  It still makes me cry just to think about it.  Maybe he is saying goodbye to his other siblings or cousins.  Maybe he is saying goodbye to his great grandparents and other family.  Either way I hope he will kiss everyone for us and then come let us take care of him!  I’ve waited long enough!!!!!  

The night before I was induced J took me to get a pedicure so that I would have nice feet and a little relaxation before the big day.  It was wonderful, I could've sat in the chair for hours!  Then I returned home and my friend Christy had finished decorating the nursery.  It is phenominal!  I mean it is like straight out of a magazine!  I will post pictures but they don't begin to do it justice!  Then my dad arrived and it was fun to visit with him.  Poor J was exhausted from a long stressful week at work and he wanted to crash early but he survived until about 12.15.  What a trooper.  He has been so patient and loving through it all.  

Well baby D still has a few more hours to come on his own.  I sure hope he surprises us!  

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