Saturday, October 6, 2012

D Day has arrived


October 6, 2012



Well today is the BIG day.  The 2nd biggest day of my entire life.  I never thought this day would come and to be honest it still hasn’t sunk in.  I should be sleeping right now but I am just too full of emotions to sleep.  Tomorrow at noon J and I are going to Banner Desert Hospital to have this baby! 

These last 9 months have been a miracle to me.  I have loved every second, every kick, every roll, every second of this pregnancy.  I love my bump too and am really going to miss it.  I am so overcome by gratitude that words can not adequately express ½ of what I am feeling.

I have dreamed of being a mother, of being pregnant, and of holding my baby since I was a child myself.  Now to be experiencing this with my very best friend and love of my life, it seems too good to be true.  Why do I deserve all of my dreams coming true?  I never want to take any of this for granted.  I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for ALL that he has given me.  Especially my husband J and our son.  Oh my GOSH … MY SON…how fun is that to say? 

I am so grateful to my sisters and friends that have shared their own children with me over the years.  I have learned so much from your examples and I hope I can be ½ the mothers you are. 

I can’t begin to imagine what life will be like after our son is here.  I know that we are going to have more joy and love than ever before!  I am dying to see J hold and love our little boy, it is going to melt my heart.  I can’t wait to see what our little boy is going to look like!  Will he look like his Daddy?  I sure hope so!  I hope he has his Daddy’s good heart, gentle nature, talent, and good looks.
 
I am going to miss feeling the movement of our baby and I will miss having him with me all the time so close to my heart.  But now I get to look forward to holding him in my arms, kissing his cheeks, rocking him to sleep, singing him songs, reading him books, and helping him grow into a man.  I couldn’t be more excited. 

I am so blessed to be given this opportunity to carry my baby and have a child of my own.  I will never take it for granted.  My heart breaks for those I know and love that do not have this opportunity.  I always wondered if I would too and I know the pain and heart ache it brings.  I thank Heavenly Father daily for this experience. 

Now if I can just survive the labor and delivery.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit terrified.  With some of the unknowns in my case I just get nervous.  I am scared of the dumb IV and I want to make sure we get all the antibiotics in before the baby comes and I didn’t want to be induced.  I was really hoping he would come on his own!  But I am also so thrilled he didn’t come early.  I am also nervous about the septum.  Will it tear, will it need to be repaired?  Will I need surgery?  The truth is I’ve made it this far, why worry about those things now?  It does no good.  I will get my priesthood blessing and the Lord will take care of it all.

I know I have the best support system anyone could ever ask for.  My husband, family, and friends are everything to me and have been with me through it all.  I can’t wait to introduce everyone to our newest addition.  When will he come?  Will it be Sat the 6th or Sun the 7th?  Please don’t make it Monday the 8th J  How big/small will he be?  Will he have hair?  Will he be a good eater?  I can’t wait to kiss him and welcome him to this world. 

How far along? 40/41 weeks
Total weight gain: 22-24 lbs
Maternity clothes?  Love them, but some are getting snug J
Sleep: Well it is 2 am right now…but I sleep ok from about 4 or 5 am to about 10 am usually with just a few breaks for the bathroom and to kiss Justin goodbye for work.
Best moment this week:  Finishing the nursery TONIGHT (oct 5)
Miss Anything?  I miss nothing at this point.  I know I will miss so many things about being pregnant very soon!  I don’t want to take a thing for granted!
Movement:
  Lots of movement still.  It is wonderful.  This week I have had a lot more of the shooting/shocking pain that sometimes makes me gasp and scares J! 
Food cravings:  nothing ever sounds yummy until I see J eating it.  Then I want it and always eat some of his.  Still drinking lots of chocolate milk, water gives me heartburn.
Anything making you queasy or sick:  nope
Gender:  Let’s hear it for the BOY!
Labor Signs:  I have some contractions but am still 2.5 by 2.5 and the baby hasn’t come down any.  We are hoping that with a few strong contractions they will push Baby D down. 
Belly Button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off?  On
Happy or Moody most of the time:  Ecstatic!!!  All my dreams are coming true!  I got a little tense at the end with so many emotions and feelings. I also really wanted the house clean…but we finished the nursery tonight and it is more than I could’ve dreamed.  It is gorgeous!
Looking forward to: Holding our little boy and seeing Justin hold our son.  I honestly can hardly stand this anticipation!
To do list:  HAVE OUR BABY! J                           
Misc.:  It just doesn’t seem real that this is going to happen.  I can’t believe I am being induced and that he didn’t come on his own.  I can’t believe that in a matter of hours I will be a mother, J a father, and we will be able to hold our little guy.  I hope I am kind enough to share him with others!  But I’ve waited my ENTIRE life to hold this angel and I may not be able to give him up! 

This week Angie told me that Baby D wasn’t coming yet because he was having a hard time saying goodbye to everyone in heaven.  It still makes me cry just to think about it.  Maybe he is saying goodbye to his other siblings or cousins.  Maybe he is saying goodbye to his great grandparents and other family.  Either way I hope he will kiss everyone for us and then come let us take care of him!  I’ve waited long enough!!!!!  

The night before I was induced J took me to get a pedicure so that I would have nice feet and a little relaxation before the big day.  It was wonderful, I could've sat in the chair for hours!  Then I returned home and my friend Christy had finished decorating the nursery.  It is phenominal!  I mean it is like straight out of a magazine!  I will post pictures but they don't begin to do it justice!  Then my dad arrived and it was fun to visit with him.  Poor J was exhausted from a long stressful week at work and he wanted to crash early but he survived until about 12.15.  What a trooper.  He has been so patient and loving through it all.  

Well baby D still has a few more hours to come on his own.  I sure hope he surprises us!  




Monday, October 1, 2012

39 weeks


September 30, 2012

How far along? 39 weeks
I feel like my belly has just gotten SO BIG recently!  WOW!  Can  I admit that I LOVE IT!!!  I REALLY LOVE IT!

Total weight gain: 21 lbs
Maternity clothes?  Maternity clothes and lots of big t-shirts
Sleep: I am up until around 3am most nights and then I sleep for anywhere from 30 min to 2 or 3 hours (then I wake up to go to the bathroom and to move around), usually on the couch.  Then when J wakes up for work at 6:30am I come back in to bed and sleep on and off for a few more hours.
Best moment this week:  Hitting the September 29th due date was very exciting!
Also I have felt very close to my hubby recently.  I enjoy every second I can with him and it is fun to see him getting more excited each day. He says the sweetest things to me and it just melts my heart.  I want nothing more than to see him snuggling our little guy. 
Miss Anything?   It doesn’t matter to me at this point.  I know I will miss my big belly and feeling the movements of our little man, I will just try to soak it all up in these last few days.
Movement:
  Big rolls and moves all across my tummy.  I LOVE watching and feeling it with J. 
Food cravings:  Bagel, egg, and sausage sandwiches have tasted so yummy!  But no crazy cravings for anything that I’ve just HAD to have.
Anything making you queasy or sick:  nope.  Still get a sick tummy pretty often no matter what.
Gender:  Let’s hear it for the BOY!
Labor Signs:  I am now dialated to 2 ½ by 2 ½ or Dr. W says a 5.  YIPPEE!  But baby D was still relatively high up.  Last night I had my first painful contraction at 1:30am and I woke up J immediately and started crying.  I was so sure it was time.  I was thrilled and excited and also terrified. It is quite funny to think about but I just started crying immediately.  Otherwise I’m still having contractions, nothing regular and they are not painful, just uncomfortable. 
Belly Button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off?  On
Happy or Moody most of the time:  HAPPY and so so excited.  Also feeling a bit anxious.
Looking forward to: MEETING OUR BABY!!!  And finishing the nursery.
To do list:  HAVE OUR BABY! J
Misc.:  My bag is packed and we are ready to go!   This week Justin came to my appointment with Dr. Wilson (the first one he’s been able to come to and see Dr.W).  Dr. W checked me and I wasn’t expecting any change but there was some good news, I went from 4cm to 5 or 2 ½ cm by 2 ½ cm.  I thought that was wonderful!   We also talked about options if our little guy decides he doesn’t want to come on his own.  Dr. W didn’t have a strong opinion one way or the other (inducing or waiting) but said that nature can do it better.  I hadn’t even hit 40 weeks yet so I told him I would prefer to wait, hoping and praying that it all happens on its own.   This week I will go back on Wednesday (Oct 3, the due date that I think is most accurate) and then we may need to schedule an induction.  I just hope it doesn’t come to that!  Come on little guy!  We are ready and can’t wait to meet you! 

I’m so excited to see what MY labor story will be.  How will everything work?  I really hope I don’t need a c section, but I just need to remind myself that as long as I have a healthy and happy baby it doesn’t matter. 

I’m also worrying too much about getting my IV.  I KNOW! Isn’t that silly?  Out of everything that is going to happen I’m dwelling on getting an IV??!  Dumb!  But I am.  Thankfully my Nurse Merri reassures me and gives me tips on how to handle it better and what to tell the nurse.  Don’t know what I’d do without her already!  She texts me every night now to check in and make sure I’m not in labor yet.  It is so fun and funny!